The Pizzamaker's Dinner: Unlimited Breadsticks
by iEgnirys
Summary: A very irreverent parody of the romance/erotica novel The Winemaker's Dinner: Appetizers, by Dr. Ivan Rusilko and Everly Drummond. Rated M for things that will happen... later. Don't expect it to make much sense. Chica attended the Pizzamaker's Dinner to network and get new business ideas for her pizzeria. She didn't expect to find a mysterious handsome bunny at the VIP table...


Chica kicked her designer shoes off underneath the table as soon as she was sure no one was looking, though had her feet poised over them to slip back into them at a moment's notice. After all, it was a formal event, and if she was caught barefoot at it... well, she didn't even want to think about that. But still, the shoes hurt so much.

"I swear, they don't think about talons when they make these things," she said with a sigh, to her friend Mangle, who was busy hanging off the chandelier above the table. "You're lucky you don't... have... feet."

Mangle whirred and clicked in response, tilting her head upward to make sure the one eye she had left did not fall out onto the table below. "I don't get why we have to dress so fancy for this anyway. I mean, it's just a convention for pizzeria animatronics. It's not like the kids' birthday parties we ever do are this formal."

Chica's beak dropped open. "Just a convention for pizzeria animatronics? Just? It's the Pizzamaker's Dinner. It is the premier annual event for everyone who's anyone in the business. It's important for networking. Sure, it's a little silly that we have to wear designer heels for it, but the goal is to show off how professional you can possibly be. I mean, think of it this way. We are in the same room as Charles Entertainment Cheese."

"Chuck E. Cheese?"

"Don't be so informal!"

Mangle rolled her eye. "What, like he's gonna hear me? He's all the way over there, at the VIP table-whoa."

Chica covered her face with her wings. "Whoa? Whoa what. Did he hear us? What did you do?"

"No, no, it's okay, nobody heard us. It's just... whoa. Just... look at the VIP table, you'll see him."

"Charles-"

"No. Just look, woman."

Chica sighed, before turning her attention to the VIP table. She tried not to seem creepy as she looked over each animatronic present, trying to figure out who was who. But then again, there wasn't a creature in the room that didn't look at least slightly creepy, what with the expressionless eyes and other uncanny valley traits. Yes, she recognized most of the VIPs immediately. Chuck E. Cheese was there, as were the other members of his band, and the majority of the members of Rock-Afire Explosion. But, there was one she'd legitimately never seen before. Within seconds, her curiosity was piqued, and not just because she didn't know who he was.

She had never seen such a gorgeous bunny in her entire life. His exquisitely soft looking purple fur shined with a stunningly clean luster. He was dressed amazingly well, with a dapper red bowtie at the forefront of his outfit. And, once she looked into his stunning red eyes, she felt like she could melt like mozzarella cheese in an oven. It was all she could do not to find herself imagining what his endoskeleton looked like.

"Oh," was all Chica could bring herself to say.

Mangle couldn't help but snicker a bit. "Yeah, oh. Not to mention, for such an unknown animatronic to be with the VIPs like that, he must be loaded... you have to go ask him who he is. I mean, at the very least. If not more than that..."

Chica's cheeks turned red, despite not having any blood or skin or anything that would sensibly make her capable of doing that. "I can't just ask him that!"

"Yes, you can."

"No I can't!"

"It's just as a business thing, wink wink nudge nudge."

"No! I can't. See, look, he's already talking to some other chicken, and there's a mouse over there looking at him too."

"Chica, if you don't talk to him at all tonight, I'll do it for you."

"Mangle, no!"

But, luckily for Chica, food began to be served at that moment.

"Ooh, look, unlimited breadsticks!" Mangle said, with a sound of excitement that sounded rather similar to loading AOL in the 90's.

Chica did get a few interesting ideas from what had been served that night. There were some interesting thin crust pizzas, buffalo wings, and even some gluten-free options. The buffalo wings were what made her think the most. Usually such things were spicy, and reserved for the parents, leaving the kids feeling left out. But, what if she made a sweet honey barbecue sauce variety of wings, so that even the youngest children could feel included? The only downside was that she herself was a chicken, and it might seem just a tad cannibalistic. Even if a metal and cloth chicken eating flesh and blood chicken really didn't count as cannibalism, perception was everything when running a business.

When the food was done with, and tables were being cleared, there was to be a concert as well, showcasing the various bands. However, given that she was the head chef, and not in charge of the music, she decided to wander off and not really watch. She headed outside to the gardens, where various animatronics were milling about, conversing with each other about food and game ideas. But, she didn't really feel like talking at the moment, busy considering the idea of honey barbecue wings. She was considering it so intently, that she'd forgotten about her friend Mangle's... threat, as it were. Once again, she kicked off her shoes into a bush, and sat on the ledge of a fountain. She was careful though, not to get wet enough that it would get into her endoskeleton and cause her to short-circuit. Once safe, she got lost in thought again, only to be brought back down to earth moments later by a voice from behind her.

"Are these yours? They're very nice, it would be a shame if you were to leave them here."

She began to respond right away. "Oh, it's fine, I remember where I left-" But, when she turned around to see who was actually addressing her, she stopped short, finding herself tongue tied.

It was the mysterious purple bunny from the VIP table.


End file.
